Bulimia - my reality

[missacro]

michelle star yo uare a talented writing you described the hell bulemia is soo good that i hope anyone who thinks of becomign bulemic reads it.
thats exactly how itfeels its terrible and im sorry youve had to go through it too u are doing so much better then me at stopping it,

alslo i readyo uteach gymnastics thats really cool im an ex gymnast gave itup earlier this year becuase iwas to oweak

[michellestar]

[lovetodance]

hiya i dont wanna seem like i am telling u wot to do and i no it is hard but i really really really think u shud talk to someone even if it is a confidential helpline (im sure i found a link a while bak so i will try and find it again)

i am 17 and tryin to recover from bulimia as well and i am seeing a psychiatrist (who i dont rly like so i am gonna lie next time i see her and say i have not been making myself sik coz then i shudnt have to go again)........however i am gonna try and find a confidential number to ring coz i cannot get better on my own

i have put on a stone too since the summer and i hate it so so much. i feel so disgusting and my jeans feel tight YUK!!

xxx

[michellestar]

[lovetodance]

http://www.edauk.com/YoungPeople/GettingHelp

i found this and there is an email adress u can write to and it says they will write back.

[michellestar]

[Rivka]

That you for posting that, it is the best description I have ever seen of what that is like.

I think various things helped me stop. I sing and it was destroying my vocal chords, I didn't want to sound like a frog. Vomiting made my astham so bad that I had to take steroids and those made me fat, I mean seriously fat, not just ED fat. I think the think that helped the most was getting treatment for my depression, this is so much easier now that I don't hate myself and I'm not suicidal.

[laura1981]

Hi, Im pretty new here, but your discription is so right, as I sat here reading it, i ate 3 mars delights with 3 glasses of water, just waiting for the water to take effect so I can be sick, i hate it sooo much, i made an ana pack last monday, tuesday to this monday i was brilliant, most i ate was 700kcals a day, then worked off at least double that, why why does mia always win?
I wish my ana was stronger, i just cant stick to it, then the second i break the ana, mia rushes back, id love a happy medium, why cant i just me normal?
i just want to like a balanced diet, i just want to stop when im full, not binge when im bored, i hate this path but then something inside says i love it, ive been the gym this morning, then ate a sausage sandwich and carrot cake, knowing as i stood there ordering it i was going to be sick, the mia days are false happiness, the panic i feel when i know ive not got everything out is intense, why did it have to start? when was i not stronger and why did i cheat myself by thinking this was the quickest route to eternal weight loss, all i get is a sore throat, a red right hand and spots round my mouth. please somebody, why is this so hard????

[J.E.Z.I.K.@]

I read ur diary entry n this is the first time ive been on this site and realised how many ppl are going thru the same thing. Ive had an eating disorder for a long time - i believe i had compulsive eating as a child which changed to bulimia at 12. Now at 19 i sit here and read ur diary entry and think fuck mia is ruining so many ppls lives. I am not the only one struggling to fight her grip. Altho i am different in that i never used a razor to purge i have many disgusting moments of when the sheer terror of having food stay in my stomach takes over and all i can think about is getting it out. It is great of you to post how u feel and what u r going thru and i am glad i have joined as for years i have felt that there is noone who can understand what it is like and wen i have seeked help little was given.
Neway ill be in touch and good luck with killing mia i hope u do and i can follow in ur footsteps.

[michellestar]