Do the pervasive thoughts of insecurity and self-hatred

[overtlythin]

I am a recovered anorexic. For 6 months, now.

I though I would never stop really. But when i passed out while driving my car after drinking only water, and consuming no food for a week, I made a promise to my mother and my boyfriend, that I would never starve myself again.

I see a counselor that doesn't really help me. I eat regularly, 2 or 3 meals a day. But I still feel the need for control.

The desire for control continues to consume me. When I look in the mirror, I see fat (even though I am now only 118lbs, 5'5", US Size 2).

I constantly critique specific parts of body.

I've gotten grasp of the behavioral aspect of anorexia, but the pervasive thoughts still consume me.

Do the thoughts ever go away?

[Digi_Ab]

I think it is important to remember that there's no reason to hate yourself. You have done nothing wrong. No one is better than you in the same way that you are not better than anyone else.

Anyone who is going to be so critical to look at you and think "fat bitch" is someone who is not even worth thinking about, because it is just their own insecurities (I have never been a vain or judgemental person but I have found myself doing it out of my own phobias of gaining weight).

It may seem easier said than done but at the end of all of this you can walk away and say "So what, I am getting on with my life". Because no matter how fat you think you are or how fat someone is, does it matter? Does it really matter? It is not like it makes anyone less human that gives people the right to judge.

It is also important to notice that most people do not notice your problems because they're to busy worrying about their own (and, like I said, those who do are just so insecure the only way they can feel good about themselves is by trying to put someone down).

Everyone has insecurities and I guess in a way it never goes away. but it is the people who can recognise that they have more important things to do than to let it get to them, that are the people who walk with confidence and gain admiration.

And that's why this is worth it.