I hate bulimics

[katblack]

Hey girls, I've been responding to some of your posts so I thought I should properly introduce myself. My name is Kat; I won't post my statistics because they look horrible and I hate them and my big portuguese bones that won't let me look like natatlie portman. I've struggled with ED since the beginning of time -- who can really say when it starts? It started with COE without purging, which lasted for about a decade, and was kept in check with massive amounts of exercise; it then evolved into heavy heavy restricting, bordering on ana, which allowed me to lose 70 pounds (can you imagine having 70 lbs to lose? it's absolutely the most disgusting shameful thing I can think of), and now it's devolved into bulimia, which I hate more than anything. I was so so so afraid of gaining the weight back (they always say that you gain the weight back eventually, and I swear I would kill myself if I did) that I began purging meals when I accidentally overate; this of course escalated with the concsiousness that I could eat however much I wanted and not gain an ounce so long as I purged it, and now I'm addicted to eating disgusting, disgusting amounts of food and vomiting it up. So lovely.

I have been actively bulimic for two years now, and I would do anything to stop (except, of course, actually stop). The reason I come down so hard on mia fans is because I hate it so much in myself. On the one hand, I hate myself irrationally which leads me to hate other people with my same weaknesses, and on the other hand, I'm a very intelligent, self-aware person - I know the patterns, I know the horrible consequences, I know that mia self-perpetuates and just makes everything worse -- so I really hate it when mia fans self-delusionally promote it.

I still have lbs to lose (I'm thinking 15, at this point, though god knows when I lose those 15 it'll just be another 15), I like my bones to show a bit, not a lot because that makes me look out of control, and I really want to look massively in control. But I have to constantly remind myself that mia makes you gain weight. brand that onto your brains, mia-girls: MIA MAKES YOU GAIN WEIGHT.

long live ana.

[laprincessita]

Mia sux, agreed...but ana makes you gain weight too if you recover. Your metabloism will still slow.

But then...I guess I shouldn't have an opinion as I am not classed as one or the other...

[J.E.Z.I.K.@]

ur so rite. Im the same i kno that wen i want to walk to the fridge and grab some food i should walk away but the pull of bullimia takes over and i seem to not be able to help myslef. I HATE it. I hate how it makes me feel and how out of control i get but i HATE having food in mystomach to the point id rather die then have it there. U no wat i mean? So its not a point of saying being mia solves everything - eat wat u want then purge- because it doesnt it simply creates more problems. But we continue to do it and i gues sthats y im here. Need tips on how to stop.