really struggling

[confusion reigns]

hey everyone

i really struggle to post, i never feel worth it, but i need to tonight, my mind is playing awful games with me..been out drinking which is always a bad idea for me, but always the option i turn to..

im on prozac and have been for couple of years now, max dose and i feel dead, i feel like all the things are bubbling up inside me and i am in no control as to how they are coming out, and at the moment it seems to be losing weight..and im feeling like a miserable failure at that..i wont post weights or anyhting as i know that triggering is not helpfuk to those in the recovery space...i dont know where i am, ive fought so long and godamn hard to fight this off and it doesnt seem to be leaving me, do i accept it? i cant seem to think of any other option but to do so

But it seems to be what i want.... or is it..i cannot determine who is who right now....

i so want to lose the weight right now....... i hate that im not , makes me hate myself..

[confusion reigns]

sorry what i fool

[slimxsslender]

im sorry you feel so bad.

try to cheer up?

[Cate]

I am so sorry.

I have struggled with bipolar all my life and when I got put on lithium I gained weight, and didn't continue to stop.

At first I didnt turn to an eating disorder, I just exercised and ate healthier, but then it became an obsession and now that I've lost all that weight I can't stop.

Although I can't offer any great story of success, I can offer my support.

Good luck, and I'm sure you have what it takes to quit if you set your mind on it.

If you need anyone to talk to I'm definitely here!