>>Amy's Journal<<

[wannabethin]

Sooo, I've decided to put one of these up to. I know there's hundreds on here, but they're personal aren't they, so noone has to read it if they don't want to..

Thing is, I know I CAN be disciplined and have been so in the past. But these holidays have just done it for me. It's got to stop. EVERY time I go home I just stuff myself. I have my own flat at uni and go home every other week or so for the weekend and it's doing my head in. Isn't it sad that I leave home to get back to my flat because I can't control myself when it comes to food? I NEVER eat sweet stuff or such here or bread or whatever crap mum and dad have at home. In fact, I don't even really have food in my kitchen. I only buy stuff when I know I'm gonna eat it. For exactly that reason that I know I'll binge otherwise.

So here's my journal. I'm hoping to get back to my skinny ways, so to say. And we all know what new year's for: new resolutions. My resolution is to gain back control of my weight and eating habits.

I don't know my exact weight at the mo because I'm too scared of the truth. I think it's something around 56.5 kg (can you believe i was 6 kg less back in august??). It's depressing.. And just for the record I'm 1.63 m, that's about 5'4''.

So here's what I ate today:
- 1 apple and a piece of toast for breakfast
- 1 apple around 10am
- a huge salad made of iceberg lettuce, beetroot cubes, tuna, egg, sweetcorn and a few kidney beans with some italian dressing
- 1 banana at 5 pm

As for exercise:
45 mins of cardio at a heartrate of 158

Currently feeling slightly peckish so made myself a cup of tea. Apart from that feeling ok, a bit lonely though because i decided to stay in by myself instead of inviting a friend round. just because i didn't want to have to get snack food in and risk eating it. i put a post up about that. i think that's really sad..

Anyway, this is my first journal entry and i intend to write in it every day.

wish my luck on sticking to my resolutions!!

xxx

[wannabethin]

Got up at a reasonable time today to get some studying done. Got to the library around 10 and left for lunch around 1. have work at 5 and still got some stuff to do beforehand.

Food eaten until now:
- apple and banana omlet made with 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 egg plus 1 eggwhite and cinamon.
- 1 apple at 10 am
- greek salad for lunch made with half a pack of iceberg lettuce (125 gr), half a cucumber, 2 small tomatoes, half a packet of low fat feta cheese (75 gr), salt pepper and about 1 tblsp of olive oil.

I intend to have a banana later and before work some tofu with carrots and zucchini. need enough energy because it could be long hours tonight..

no exercise today, too much to do and want to save my energy for work.

[TeddyMinx]

Amy,

Wow...it sounds like you have a great handle on your food intake. You eat so healthfully, I'm impressed!! I'm gonna have to follow your journal just so I can read it like a diet plan. Best of luck to you on your New Year's Resolutions....I'm sure you will have no problem reach them!

Blessings...

Minx

[wannabethin]

hi teddyminx
thanks for the input! thing is, i can only stick to this way of eating for so long. when i go to mum and dad's at the odd weekend (or like during the xmas hols OMG was that bad), i just end up eating ALL DAY and the WORST FOODS!
But so far (2 days haha) i've been doing really well. today i stuck to my plan again and just got back from work.
i have nothing to add to my what-i-at-today-list except half a can of red bull (NOT the sugarfree one). but i was at work and needed the energy. just got back and am now going to bed. good job i've got no bingey food in ha!
i'm gonna get thin again, i'm gonna get thin again, YAY!!

[wannabethin]

Another day of doing well is coming to an end and i dare say i'm quite proud of myself
didn't have brekkie because i didn't get up till late.

Food eaten today:
- greek salad like yesterday
- 1 banana at 3pm
- red thai curry made from veggies, tofu, red curry paste and coconut milk at about 6.30pm
- smallish handful of nuts (1/2 before and 1/2 after my curry dinner

I have no idea how many cals in the curry, but i think it should be okay since i'm going to work at 9pm and need a proper meal to hold on till i get to bed. hope i can finish again at 2am, but i doubt it coz it's saturday..

Now there's still some of my dinner left in the pan and i plan on having that tomorrow. Past experience shows i always eat leftovers the same day. But i'm going to be strong and NOT eat it till tomorrow dinner. Yes!!
maybe i'll allow myself a few more nuts before i go to work. MAYBE.

Wish me strength!
xx a.

[wannabethin]

A new week has begun.
I DID end up eating the rest of the curry on sat, but so what. When i got back from work at 2.45am i had a couple more nuts, but only about 5.

Sunday I got up around midday and had an omlet made from 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 egg and some cocounut milk, about 2 tbsp.
In the afternoon I went for a long walk with my friend and in the evening we cooked dinner together. Mincemeat with tomatos, carrots, spinach and aubergine. sprinkled with some cheese and baked in the oven. Was very yummy and I ate loads. BAD BAD BAD! But pretty healthy and not TOO fatty..
Nevertheless, need to restrict all the more today.
So far:
- 1 dark bread roll with 1 apple for brekkie
- huge salad for lunch made with lettuce, 1 can of tuna (150gr.), half a cucumber, 1 beetroot, 1 desertspoon of vinegar and 2 of olive oil, salt (OMG that's actually loads and loads!). But VERY low in fat and VERY filling so shouldn't matter.
- 1 banana before going to the gym, 5pm

Tonight I'm going to my Body Pump course at the gym, soo looking fwd to that

[wannabethin]

I'm soo proud been to the gym and in the spa bit and got home at 8pm to watch desperate housewives and haven't eaten AT ALL!! YAY!
Had a cup of tea but that's all.
I've just been looking at pics of me back in summer, god was I skinny and cute. And now: I'm just much fuller in my face and all. Yuck!
IT'S GOT TO GO!!!
Goodnight everyone and stay strong. Nothing's worth giving in to if you can be thin!
xxx a.

[wannabethin]

I still don't dare to step on the scales.. I'm scared that I haven't lost anything or if so then not much. That would make me feel bad and I most probably would think oh what the hell it's not worth it! So no scales till my diesel's aren't tight anymore

So today this is what I've eaten:
- 1 apple and 1 dark bread roll for brekkie
- 1 apple at 11am
- big salad for lunch, made with: rest of lettuce from yesterday, half a beetroot, a small can of sweetcorn (about 125gr, I rinsed it too because it said on the label that it contains sugar), some diced gruyère cheese for protein (about 90gr). Olive oil and vinegar.
- 1 banana at 3pm before work

And here comes what I didn't really need or want, but I'm so scared of the "jojo-effect" that I thought I better should have dinner. So my work colleague got me something from the kebab-shop next door: 1 baked potatoe COVERED in mayo and ketchup mixed with some kind of salad. When she handed it to me I just thought OMG I just CAN'T eat THIS! But I scraped most of the saucy stuff of and ate the potato. In the end I did eat about half of the fatty stuff though. I know I COULD've gone without that food, but I'm scared of gaining weight really fast if I ever eat a proper meal, so I thought now and again something like that won't be too bad..
Hmm..

Anyway, time for beddybies.
xxx a.

[wannabethin]

What a good day this was

- 1 apple and 1 banana with about 50gr. of gruyère cheese for brekkie
- 1 apple around 10am
- sort of salad for lunch made with beetroot, half a can of sweetcorn, 4 mini potatoes and about 40gr. of gruyère cheese
- 1 apple around 4pm
- something like rattatouille for dinner around 7pm, made with 1 zucchini, 1 red and 1 yellow pepper, 1 fennel, 1 carrot, onion and garlic. I hate half of it for dinner and the other half is my lunch for tomorrow. was very yummy and low cal too, I guess.

And here comes what I'm so proud of: I was invited to a friend of mine's birthday apéro tonight, and was a bit uncertain of wether to go or not because of all the finger food and stuff. But since I haven't seen the crowd for aages I decided to go. And guess what! I only had 1 glass of chardonnay and refused all the snacks!! SUCCESS!! Luckily noone made a fuss, but I think I my friends must've noticed.. But they're used to me being stupid when it comes to food. And I'm not even tempted to eat the leftovers of my dinner. I must say though, smoking the odd ciggy certainly kills my food cravings..

Exercise:
40 mins cardio on the bike at the gym at 158 HR

Goodnight everyone and have a good day tomorrow!

Love a. xxx

[alice22]

well done ur doing good sounds like a good low calorie food plan wat r ur stats people usualy write them at the bottom of their message im 5ft3 and 105lbs goal 97lbs how ru wen its the weekend do u binge or r u still pretty good

[wannabethin]

Hi Alice!

Thanks, yeah I'm quite happy with my achievent so far
My stats are 1.63m (5'4'') and something around 55/56 kg (121/123 lbs). I don't know my current weight exactly because i'm too scared of standing on the scales. Before xmas i was 56.5 kg (YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!) and since then I've been restricting. I certainly hope I've lost weight since then, because I do FEEL abit slimmer..

You wanted to know wether or not I binge at the weekends. Well, that's a tricky thing for me. I live away from home 'coz I'm at uni. Here I'm always really good with food and only binge if I buy bad food. So basically I just don't buy it. BUT whenever I go home to Mum and Dad's, it often ends being ONE LONG WEEKEND OF BINGEING. That's why I try to go home as little as poss. Isn't that sad? It has been getting better in the past though, but still. At the worst point I was eating like 24/7 when I was there to the point where I felt so full my stomach hurt and I just felt so sick. I've often tried purging but I can't seem to do it properly. But as I said it's not as bad as then anymore. But it still feel really insecure about going home. Ok this has turned out pretty detailled sorry.

My ultimate goal is 50kg (110lbs). Less would be cool too, but not much less. Don't wanna look ill.. But I'll be happy to reach anything under 55kg for the moment!

So far I've had 1 apple and a dark bread roll for brekkie, 1 apple at 11am and I've just had lunch: The rest of the veg from yesterday with 3 mini potatoes chopped in slices and fried in a little oil.
Tonight I'm going out for dinner with my friends.. A bit uncertain about that. I've checked out the restaurant menu online and I think I'm gonna go for the smoked salmon with dill. It's just a hors d'oeuvre, but I'll say I'm not that hungry.

[wannabethin]

good morning guys!

Well, yesterday wasn't that good in the end.. Had a call from my boss and had to go to work at 5.30pm, so I had to cancel the dinner. But because I got into a bit of a rush and didn't feel like preparing veggies or such before work, I bought a packet of mixed nuts and ate about half (125gr!!!) with a banana as supper. And the other half I ate after work. Can you imagine how many calories nuts HAVE??? I still feel quite full and it's just gross. But still better than chocolate I guess.. I must make sure to eat something proper and healthy even when I'm a bit rushed, otherwise I'll just pick at snacks like that! Sooo not good..

Gotta dash, uni's calling!
xxx a.

[wannabethin]

gotta be quick, am at mum and dad's and don't wanna get caught!

FRI:
- 1 apple for brekkie
- big salad made with 1 pack of iceberg (250gr), 1 can of tuna (155gr), 1 boiled egg, a little olive oil and vinegar
- 1 banana before work

And NOTHING the rest of the day or at work! Ha, I'll show you, fat round my hips!!!

SAT:
- 1 big salad for lunch (got up late), same as yesterday but plus 1 can of sweetcorn (150gr)
- 1 banana around 3.30 pm
- chicken with cashew nuts and veg (chinese), plus about max. 2 tablespoons of rice

Yeah, last night I went out for a chinese with my best friend. I thought it won't do too much damage, since I barely ate yesterday and have done quite well all week. I guess it's good to treat oneself once in while otherwise if you can never enjoy something it could raise the danger of bingeing.

I'm actually at my parent's house at the moment and normally it's really difficult for me not to binge, but until now it's been going well. Well, I've only just got up haha, but I had 2 slices of toasted dark bread with an apple and actually managed to stop right there! So maybe success is on it's way..

[wannabethin]

Good morning everyone, a new week has broken!

So just to catch up on yesterday, here's what I had after the toast with apple which I ate at 11 am.
Went for an hours walk at 1 pm and had something to eat when I got back at 3.30pm:

- medium sized salad with a small bit of cheese
- rösti with fried egg (rösti is a swiss dish, basically it's just grated pre-cooked potatoes fried in a pan. I had a whole packet of 250gr)

I then got some kip and ate again before I hopped on the train back to my flat.
- 1 bowl of crunchy cereal

I'd say that cereal was the only bad bit all day, in fact all weekend because the other stuff I ate was pretty healthy and it was the only thing that I ate in a slight binge-mode. But that's good because it has been quite different in the past so I'm happy all in all.

It's monday and a new week for restricting. Still not been on the scales, don't wanna be dissappointed. Might get on them towards the end of the week, depending how much looser my jeans feel

xxx a.

[kinxofmetal]

rösti is suuuppper delicious! but mom always uses so much fat when she makes rösti for the whole fam so i like rösti out of the oven a lot more.